Why You Will Fail Your New Year's Resolutions
Posted on January 05, 2024
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We all have witnessed in others or ourselves that we start the year full of motivation to change some aspect of our lives, adopt new habits or remove bad ones. In February, some of this motivation has already vanished and by March, you probably forgot about your plans at all. Maybe next year we will have better luck.
Why does this occur? I read recently a book called “The Path of Least Resistance” by Robert Fritz, and this concept can help us to understand this phenomenon. In short, in the book there are three main principles:
- We go through life as a river following the path of least resistance.
- The underlying structure of our life determine the path of least resistance.
- We can change the underlying structure of our life.
Putting these principles in our context of New Year’s resolutions, the problem is trying to change our behaviors without changing the structure that leads to that behavior. In general, the structure is all circumstances that lead to that behavior. For example, our eating habits is determined by our surrounding, our motivations in life, the value we place in health, your identity and self-image, etc.
For example, lots of people when they are single try to improve their shape, losing weight and going to the gym (since they want to attract a mate). Once they get one, they relax and stop going to the gym and taking care of themselves. In this case, the motivation was fueled by a need to having a partner. Once this need is fulfilled, then the motivation wanes and this impacts our habits.
Similarly, the yo-yo effect in diets is a very common phenomenon that is based on a similar pattern. If we are overweight and want to lose weight, if our main driver is just lose weight (and not being healthy, for example), then at first our motivation will be at high levels. However, as we start dropping weight, this motivation starts to drop. As we approach our goal, this motivation can drop to minimum levels, so that we start gaining weight again until we reach the initial point.
In all these situations, the problem lies in the root of our motivation. Here, the book distinguishes between the problem solving route vs the creator route. In the problem solving route, our motivation will be inversely proportional to how far we are from our goal. That is, when we are just starting, our motivation will be very high, and the closer we get to our goal, the less our motivation will be. This is the approach we follow when our goals are “lose weight” or “gain muscle”. The problem solving approach looks to reduce pain and discomfort.
The creative approach, in contrast, focuses on an ultimate outcome. The question here is what do you I want to be? For example, we can reframe the goal of losing weight by becoming a healthy and fit person. Here, the key is to be very specific about your ultimate vision. Take your time to visualize how your life will be when you are this new version of yourself. After doing that and having a new structure in your life, over time, the path of least resistance will change to this new model of reality.